im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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