What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
