So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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