barbara walters just said penis...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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