have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
