Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
