I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
