Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
