Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
