I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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