He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
