Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
