is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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