4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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