I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
