Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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