At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
