My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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