I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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