Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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