I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
