It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
