ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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