Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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