Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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