it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My vagina just clenched in fear
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