I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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