There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
