If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
