And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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