Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just had sex on a roof
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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