Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
