You really coming over, don't trick.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
