I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
