3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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