hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He better not be in your backpack
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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