Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
