i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
