i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
