is wine microwaveable?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
