I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Randomize
