The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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