you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
