Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
