If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
