Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
