i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
