I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
