Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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