She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
